We like to call projecting your feelings onto a person you’ve never met “The Honeymoon Phase,” because this is as perfect as it will ever get. In your mind, this person has all the qualities of a perfect mate: something we all know does not exist, like God or Tingrame (that’s not even a real word!) But don’t let that stop you from committing to this 100%! We recommend you make this honeymoon phase last forever, that way you’ll never be disappointed. Remember, if someone doesn’t notice you, they can’t break up with you! That’s why Kurt has never been dumped—he’s been hiding from 8 girlfriends for over 20 years! Here are some tips on how to take your Honeymoon Phase and turn it into a permanent Honeymoon Phase Vacation (HPV for short).

New Hot Dog and The Lady Bun Advice Column out on Vice. Today Albertina and I talk about imaginary relationships. (Click on text above for link.)

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