December 2011
19 posts
Top Ten List of 2011's Best Lists
End of year lists are fun because making lists is fun. Here’s my Top Ten List of The Best Lists of 2011:
1. What to Get at the Grocery Store - 3/28/11
- A classic list to start off with! That day I just wrote, “eggs, maybe meet someone?” CAN YOU SAY NAILED IT?!
2. List of Reasons Why I Feel Bad - 1/05/11
- This list is great because it included “Bedbugs”.
3. Descriptions of Dogs – 7/11/11
-...
New Hot Dog and The Lady Bun on Vice
There’s a new Hot Dog and The Lady Bun up at Vice. This week Albertina and I give advice to a fat, middle aged dude with 4 kids. Read the whole thing, or be lazy and just read the sample below.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun #4
Dear Led Pencil, If you are currently living in New York City, then congratulations! What you see as a list of “flaws” will probably make you sound like Ryan Fucking...
Google Searches for Today
Google search history for today:
“to the wiener go the spoils”
“dick tracy like in a real penis”
“squeegee and the goob”
New Vice Column Today!
This week, Albertina Rizzo and I teach you how to read between the lines. Below is a sample, and here’s the link to the whole Hot Dog and The Lady Bun column: http://www.vice.com/read/hot-dog-lady-bun-reading-lines
What He Said: What He Means:
That was fun! —————————> Sex is fun. I love...
More Missed Connections - Confetti Socks
Here’s more of me doing that thing where I respond to Craigslist Missed Connections when I really shouldn’t.
She wrote:
Confetti socks – w4M - 21
I sat next to you on the L train going towards Brooklyn. I first noticed your socks with the little multicolored flecks and thought they were great. if you see this and are interested in continuing our conversation about your other socks...
More Missed Connections - Asian Ladies!
Here’s more of me responding to Missed Connections on Criagslist:
He wrote:
**asian lady heading to 7 train-sat** - m4w (all nyc)
Morning, i saw you walking to the 7 train on saturday and we smiled at each other, you were wearing a black jacket, what was i wearing?
So I responded:
Dear dipshit,
Hey it’s me, all 65,000 asian ladies who walked towards any of the 36 stops on the 7 train on...
More Missed Connections
So, as some of you might know, I’m obsessed with Craigslist’s Missed Connections. I want one so badly. But I’ve never had a missed connection. So instead I’ve just been responding to posts I WISH were about me. Here’s the latest:
She posted:
Mature German in Subway elevator w4m
I’m the cute girl reading a text book styled German history book about how the third...
New Hot Dog and The Lady Bun (an advice column) at...
Hey dings,
Here’s a selection from my new dating column for Vice. I write it with by best bro-bag, Albertina Rizzo. Go here for the whole thing: http://t.co/cwXYA8iL
Hot Dog’s Advice
The best time for lady-talking on the train is the “Magic Hour,” which is after the bars close, but before the train gets creepy. The Magic Hour can be as long as two hours or as short as ten minutes. Check...
My Dating Advice Column for Vice →
I wrote a dating advice column with my friend Albertina Rizzo for Vice magazine. It will help you so much. Read it and get your “down there” “out there”.
Night of the Living - December 16th, 11pm
Here’s the line up for the next Night of the Living with Kurt Braunohler. Get your tickets now. I expect it will sell out very quickly.
Friday, December 16 // 11pm The Peoples Improv Theater (123 East 24th St.) Tickets available HERE: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/154675
featuring… DAVID CROSS (Never-Nude) A.C. Newman (New Pornographers) house band ADIRA AMRAM AND THE...
